Posted by Scott Rubin

I’ve heard lots & lots of ministries (including ours) say that it’s their goal to Partner with Parents of jr. highers. But how that happens is a little tougher to pin down.

As ministries are kicking off the school year, we’re spending the next month focusing on one primary goal in this area: Meet The Parents! (or … re-meet them, if you already know them)

Here’s how it’s working for us; since we have our small groups on-site right after our weekly church service, we’re telling our small group leaders that “your day isn’t done until you walk with a student to where they meet up with their parents, and introduce yourself”! A face-to-face connection early in the year is super-important. It helps parents realize that there really is someone in our ministry who Knows their kid, Cares about their kid, and will be Praying for their kid this year. If small group leaders don’t meet parents early in the year, it’s a much tougher connect with them later on, especially if it’s brought on by a crisis of some kind.

But NOT ONLY for “new” parent-kid relationships! Our small group rhythm isn’t nearly as regular during the summer. (ok – there’s actually barely any rhythm at all in the summer!) So even for returning leaders who already know the parents of their students, a face-to-face connect early in the year is pivotal. “How was the summer? How’s your son feeling about his start to the school year? Anything you [...]

Continue Reading “Partnering with Parents… Practically!”

Posted by Kurt Johnston

Okay, I should probably start by saying that I had a hand in creating all four of these resources….BUT even if I didn’t, I’m pretty sure they would all still be in my current list of JH ministry resources that I think are WELL worth considering! Here we go…great things to add to your arsenal as you kick off the fall:

1) The Middle School Campference! Please join us for this event. You will be so very very glad you did. Instead of a link to the website, here  is a link to Marko’s most recent blog post about the event. Good stuff!

2) The Chat or Challenge Ball:  I think it is fair to say that this is my favorite JH resource of all time (or dang near close)! It plays like a clean, risk-free version of Truth or Dare. Students bat the ball around and when the leader yells, “stop” whoever has the ball looks at his/her left thumb….if it is sitting on a “chat”, they talk about the topic, If it is sitting on a “challenge”, they do the funny challenge. This thing is AWESOME for small groups…..unless you have a group full of kids with no left thumbs. Look at the picture at the top of this post…..how do you say no to THAT!

3) Teaching Series: “Flipped”.  This 3-week super series takes a look at three times Jesus took the [...]

Continue Reading “My Current JH “Fab Four” Resources!”

Posted By Kurt Johnston

Not sure when, exactly, it returns but you will want to tune into Doug Fields, Katie Edwards, Josh Griffin and Matt McGill when they return with their new and improved podcast. Here is a snippet:

the Youth Ministry Garage Episode 167 highlight reel from Matt McGill on Vimeo.

Posted by Kurt Johnston

This morning I heard an interesting quote that was credited to Steve Jobs, the recently retired CEO and primary creative force of Apple:
“It isn’t the job of the consumer to determine what they want.”

Wow! Read that one again. The junior high ministry correlations are interesting to ponder. Here are a few thoughts that might be worth your time:

- How much of what we teach should be “felt need” (what they want), VS. what we as experts in young teen ministry know they need to learn?
- How much of a “voice” should the students in our ministries have concerning planning of events, activities, elements of our programs, etc.?
- Should our ministries as a whole be a reflection of what kids want…..or is it up to us to determine FOR THEM what they want, need etc.?

Would love to hear your thoughts!

Posted by Kurt Johnston

- I have discovered two great game apps for iPad: Zombie Gunship, and Star Fortress (misled after early 80′s Star Castle).

- Fantasy football draft was last night, and I couldn’t resist the urge to draft Tim Tebow in a very late round. My prediction is that he will be starting by week 5.

Have you registered for the upcoming Middle School Campference? It is going to be a unique experience, and I am super excited about the whole thing. Check it out!

- spent the entire day cleaning my garage yesterday so I can store my old 1966 truck while my son and I tinker on it. All that work, only to discover the truck is too long!

- Here is a DVD movie recommendation: Win-Win. Win-Win is a fantastic movie that wasn’t in Tuesdays too long. Tue story uses high school wrestling as a backdrop, but it isn’t a typical sports movie.

Posted by Scott Rubin

So I’ve recently taught my sons how to golf. (which is a bit challenging, because it’s tough to teach something you’re not so good at. But that’s another post) All 3 of my sons love it … but one of them is equally excited about finding other people’s lost golf balls. Especially since we got him one of those extendo-golf-ball-retriever things.

He’s actually gotten really good at it, too. (finding the golf balls… not so much golfing yet.) The last couple times we’ve played 9 holes, he’s found 15 or 20 – and it hasn’t taken him long at all. (Mostly because I’m constantly saying “We can’t make the group behind us wait for us!!)

See, when we go from one green to the next tee, there’s usually a path that everyone takes… and then there’s a whole bunch of overgrown vegetation all around. But my son never takes the path.  And that’s where he hits the jackpot.

Where am I going with this?

Well – at this time of year, we’re always looking for new, great small group leaders. And most times there’s a “usual path” for that.

–Make an announcement in the adult church service.  Put an “ad” in the bulletin. At least for us… that usually doesn’t help that much.

We’ve always had the best luck by leaving the path. Looking somewhere new.

- Like asking all our current volunteers & asking who they know [...]

Continue Reading “Look Somewhere New!”

Posted by Kurt Johnston

If trust is a key component to healthy relationships, then it begs the question, “How do we build trust between our jh ministries and the parents of our students?” The list could get long…and obviously we won’t all be good at all of the stuff on the list, but I tend to think the area of trust is an area that fits into the classic “chips in your pocket” analogy.

Every time you do something that builds trust with parents, you get some chips in your pocket. And, every time you do something that breaks trust, you lose chips. And…some trust builders and breakers add or delete bigger amounts of chips.

For instance, coming home from camp at the time you announced on the registration form puts a couple of chips in your pocket. But, failing to do a proper background check on a convicted felon who ends up robbing your 7th grade girls small group at gun-point takes FAR MORE chips out of your pocket!

So, in my way of thinking, you always want to make sure your “pocket of trust” is full of chips. Okay….but how. Well, let’s start a list. I’ll get us going:

- Longevity: The longer you are at a church, the more trust is built.
- Clear communication: clear, consistent communication about events, etc.
- Willingness to listen to complaints: Most parents just want to be heard.
- Admitting when you are wrong: Admission of mistakes [...]

Continue Reading “Let’s Make a “Trust List””

Posted by Scott Rubin

Around Chicagoland, this is the week that most schools jump back into session.
And for a lot of junior highers, that’s a pretty big challenge.

Lots of them headed to new schools, with new people, new teachers.
Lots of them figuring out locker combinations for the first time.
Lots of them will be presented with moral dilemmas starting this very first week.

But if I’m not careful, I can fall into the trap of thinking that middle school problems are “easy”.
I’ve seen adults roll their eyes as they listen to a jr high dilemma.
They’re thinking “I’ll tell you what a real problem is.”
A mortgage to pay.

A high-pressure quota.

An unreasonable boss.

A family to raise.

Even our high school volunteers may look at middle schoolers and think “Wait til you get to high school! That’s when stuff really starts to get challenging!”

But for a middle schooler, the challenges, worries & problems they face are every bit as real (and daunting) for them as the ones that we face in our stage of life.
They’re no “less real” to them… and no less scary than the biggest problem you & I face.

For some middle schoolers, their problems really are “middle school sized”. So they can use those situations to learn what it mean to lean on God and trust Him to show them the way through.
At the same time, there are students who are facing issues that are beyond what any junior higher should have to tackle. But there [...]

Continue Reading ““You think that’s a problem? I’ll tell you what a REAL problem is!””

Posted by Kurt Johnston

I absolutely loved Scott’s last post! His post, and the comments relating to it really got me thinking. Specifically, about the nature/source of so many of our conflicts, misunderstandings and tensions with parents and even volunteers in our ministries.

I wonder if it boils down to two things…one we can change and one we can’t.

First, the one we can’t: the world is broken, people are broken and as a result, hurt people hurt people. Sin, and it’s ugly ramifications, isn’t going away.

Second, the one we can (or at least have a shot at): I wonder if the vast majority of tension in relationships comes from a LACK OF TRUST. Think about it:
- when I trust you, I assume the best in you.
- when I trust you, I know you wouldn’t purposely wrong me.
- when I trust you, I give you the benefit of the doubt.
- when I trust you I know you think things through.
- when I trust you, I know you want what’s best for my children.
- when I trust you, I can confront you in a healthy manner if needed.

I have had way more than my fair share of wacky, sad, hurtful and tension-
filled conversations with parents over the years. And the root of the reason the conversations went so haywire was (I am beginning to think) always either 1) the brokeness of people or 2)the lack of trust between people.

I know it’s dangerous to boil things as [...]

Continue Reading “Is Trust The Key?”

Posted by Scott Rubin

I almost did.
Recently, I had a conversation with a middle school parent that really frustrated me.
This person said & did some things that just felt unkind to me at best, and maybe even manipulative & simply inappropriate. Maybe you’ve been there.

I wanted to vent it all over the place.
I wanted to tell people how I felt like this parent had mistreated me.
I wanted to tell that parent all the reasons why their actions were inappropriate.

But I decided to give it 24 hours.
Not a brand new idea, for sure, but a good one.
It gave me time to breathe deep, ask God for real help, and decide the best course of action.

There was a part of me that wanted to turn my back on it, and pretend it didn’t happen… that’s not what I’m talking about. I did end up having a follow up conversation with him – – but I didn’t come away with a fairy-tale-ending. Essentially, we decided that we have pretty different perspectives on his actions. But the emotionally-charged, anger-inflamed things I would have said to him 24 hours earlier stayed in my mouth. And the people who I considered talking to, so I could question this guy’s character, now don’t need a follow-up apology phone call from me.

I will interact differently with this guy in the future, in light of how he handled himself. But I was glad to have taken 24 hours [...]

Continue Reading “Do You Think You’re Beyond the Need for “The 24 Hour Rule”?”