Posted by Kurt Johnston

I am really excited about the new book, The Disconnect, by Doug Franklin for two primary reasons:

FIRST: Because the subject matter is fresh and vital! This book is dedicated to helping youth workers build a stronger relationship with their Senior Pastor. I could be wrong, but I don’t think there has ever been a book dedicated to this area; an area that has caused so much pain and confusion to so many youth workers over the years….and to an equal number of Senior Pastors, I’m sure.

In my previous post, I talked about the gap between the youth ministry and the rest of the church body…a gap that is massive and needs to be shortened. Is it possible that a primary reason this gap exists is due to an equally large gap in the relationship between youth workers and the rest of the church staff, specifically the Senior Pastor? While I had never thought about that, after seeing this book I think the answer is obvious. This book is dedicated to shortening the bridge that youth workers and Senior Pastors have to cross in order to have a healthy relationship with one another. GOOD STUFF!

SECOND: I am excited about this book (and partly frustrated because I wish I had the idea!) because of the way it is laid out. It is like the old classic “flip” books that are actually two books in one…half of the book is written to the youth pastor, then you flip the book over and the other half is written to the Senior Pastor. Creativity at it’s best!

If you work with teenages under the leadership of a Senior Pastor…buy this book! And tell others about it.

Posted by Kurt Johnston

Using analogies can be a dangerous proposition. A few years ago my Pastor used the analogy of a mulligan (a term used in golf for a “do-over”) to describe the gift of forgiveness and grace. Because he is in the spotlight, numerous bloggers jumped all over his use of such a “simplistic definition of such a wonderfully deep concept” etc.

Since I’m not talking about a theological issue….and also since I’m really not in danger of too many bloggers (at least the highly critical type) even reading this post, I am going to use an analogy today. That of a bridge.

I believe that in virtually every church in America there exists a bridge….a bridge between the youth group and the rest of the body of christ (call it big church, the adult congregation etc.). It is a bridge our students will need to cross at some point very soon. For some churches, the bridge is long…really, really long. In others the church is fairly short. And in a few churches, the bridge barely exists. But make no mistake…there is a bridge.

The reason for the bridge is obvious: There is a gap between where most youth ministries exist and where the larger church body exists. For some, the gap is physical and obvious: The youth ministry meets in a seperate building or seperate area specifically set apart for students. For others, the gap is less pronounced due to shared space, tighter quarters etc. But make no mistake…there is a gap; and this gap requires a bridge.

I want a shorter bridge! I want the transition from youth ministry to involvement and commitment to church life in adulthood to be a shorter, more natural journey for the students who leave our ministry. But to shorten the bridge, I MUST begin to address the gap that currently exists. The junior high and high school and college ministries I have the joy of leading aren’t going away. I don’t buy into the idea that youth ministry is broken, that it is the primary reason kids leave the church etc. But I do believe that modern youth ministry has played a role.

Here are a few super practical ways I am going to attempt to shorten the gap…and the bridge.

- We are going to look for ways to help students get “more skin in the game”. In other words, we are going to make concerted efforts for our students to serve in ministry and use their gifts outside of the walls of our youth group. We are going to talk with the leaders of church-wide ministries and figure out a way to get more of our teenagers serving the church body.

- We are going to eliminate much of the “competing activities”. We currently do a whole lot of “youth versions” of things such as a youth version of our membership class, a youth version of missions trips, a youth version of deeper learning bible studies etc. We are going to take a close look at these and determine which ones we can eliminate and jump on board with the ones offered for adults.

- We are going to creatively look for ways to get our students to actually attend an adult service on a somewhat regular basis! The older the students, the more effort we will make. So we will work extremely hard to get our college kids in the adult services, work sorta hard to get high schoolers there, and work a little bit to get our junior highers there.

- We are going to create a few easy events that intentionally get our students to rub shoulders with the adults (the above strategies also do this…). For instance, a friend of mine just shared that his group invited the senior citizens in their church to a movie and popcorn night to watch the movie “UP”. He said it was one of the easiest, most effective things they have done in a long time.

A gap exists. And that gap requires a bridge. I don’t think the gap will ever disappear completely because the transition from adolescence to adulthood is an interesting one in all segments of society, not only the church. But I am committed to closing the gap, and shortening the bridge.

I know it isn’t a perfect analogy…in which case I will use a mulligan!

Posted by Scott Rubin

In the last week I’ve been reminded, in 2 different ways, how much weight that words can hold.
One positive. One negative.

Scene 1:
I was talking with 2 middle school lacrosse players right after a practice, and their coach (who I barely know) stopped & joined our chat. As we were talking, the coach’s son (who’s also a player on the team) ran crazily by our conversation, and proceeded to fling himself onto a nearby swingset. His jr. high adrenaline & clumsiness carried him awkwardly over the swing, and he flipped onto the ground below, with a big goofy grin on his face.

His dad looked at him, shook his head & rolled his eyes, and with a hint of disgust uttered a single word:
” Dumb-a** “

When the coach walked away, one of the jr. highers looked at me and said “What kind of a dad calls his son that?” I wondered how many times the kid had heard it before. And how it felt to hear his dad speak that way about him.

Scene 2:
A couple days later, I was at church. Our service was over, and I saw a middle school girl passing by, headed towards the exit wearing her soccer uniform. I said “Hey AnnMarie! Score a goal today, huh?” She grinned & waved as she walked out the door. It wasn’t even a conversation … the exchange lasted about 6 seconds.

The next day, her mom left a voice message on my wife’s phone about something. At the end of the message, she said, “Oh! And please thank Scott for whatever he said to AnnMarie. She didn’t score a goal, but she played her little heart out. She was all over the field. We’ve been trying to get her to hustle all year, and it hasn’t worked. She said Scott talked to her about soccer before the game. Whatever he said really made a difference… she really values what he says.”

Huh? It was a super-casual exchange. Barely more than saying “see you later”. But for whatever reason, it mattered. Without that voicemail from her mom, I never would have known.

Made me wonder what other things I say, super-casually, that could make a difference for a jr. higher.
They’re listening to what you say!! Maybe more than we realize…

Posted by Kurt Johnston

The tragic tornado that hit Joplin, MO this past week, and the various tweets, emails etc I have received about people rushing out to aid in relief efforts got me thinking about a story that happened on a similar trip our church led shortly after Katrina.

Our church sent numerous teams of willing adults to New Orleans, and they fulfilled a wide variety of roles, mostly just doing whatever our local church partners needed done. One team was asked to spend most of the week several miles away from “the action” in a gymnasium sorting and folding donated items of clothing.

On the second day of clothe-folding a women declared to the team leader, “I cancelled a trip to Hawaii this week so I could do some important work here…I didn’t come to fold clothes.”

The team leader thanked her for her honesty….and put her on the next plane to Hawaii.

I hate the over-played “jumbo shrimp” contradiction analogy thingy…but it works here. Serving…but on our own terms…is a contradiction; like jumbo shrimp.

I like to pick on the Katrina lady, because it seems like such a classic example of people who say they want to serve, but really only want to do so if it is sexy. But the truth is, I often find myself in a similar boat.

…thankfully never sent home on a similar plane.

Posted by Scott Rubin

Whether or not you’re super-organized in your teaching plan, most of us would agree that it’s important to have a curriculum: “What We’re Planning To Teach Students.” Maybe you map it out a year ahead, or maybe you’re flipping through your Bible on the way to youth group. But we need to know what we’re going to teach. A series on prayer, a camp theme about friendships, a series on the book of Habakkuk–it comes together to form our planned curriculum.

The term “hidden curriculum” has been around for a while. It basically means “the stuff that’s learned that wasn’t overtly intended”… and I think it’s fascinating and very significant to take into account. And if you hang around any group long enough (youth ministry or not), you’ll pick up on their hidden curriculum!

The hidden curriculum is more about how do we do stuff than what we say–the unwritten rules and unspoken expectations. It’s less about what we teach, and more about what we DO (and don’t do). It’s definitely not limited to church, either. Almost all parents tell their kids to “be honest”, right? That could be called the “curriculum”. But the hidden curriculum is what gets communicated when two parents and a kid are sitting at home and the phone rings. The mom answers the phone and looks at the dad who shakes his head “no.” She then tells the caller Dad’s not there. What’s ACTUALLY being taught (the hidden curriculum) is that honesty is a really good value–except for the times that lying is more convenient.

The hidden curriculum in our ministries can range from the feel of the room to how an adult treats a student to the body language of those “on stage” for any program element. We can post a message on youth group’s website that says NEW STUDENTS ARE WELCOME HERE! But when no one speaks to the newcomers when they arrive, the hidden curriculum says “We don’t actually care enough to talk to you.”

But, when we pay attention to the hidden curriculum, great things can happen.

Posted By Kurt Johnston

Typically, I am a pretty motivated guy. I’m a self-starter who rarely needs much help to get moving on things. Because of that, I quickly notice when I seem to be lacking motivation, enthusiasm, desire etc. Over the years, I have created a fairly short checklist that I run through whenever I am lacking my normal motivation. Not sure it is complete, but thought I would share it:

- Am I too busy? . Often, my lack of motivation stems from a sense of overwhelmed paralysis. Since there is so much to do…I do nothing.

Am I bored?. Boredom, routine, same old same old almost always kills my motivation.

Do I have unresolved conflict?. I carry unresolved conflict like a stone around my neck. Because I tend to avoid conflict, it is often something that goes unresolved when it appears, and the dread of dealing with it is an energy zapper for me.

Do I love what I am doing, and am I walking close to The Father? The first pastor I served under was also the pastor of my church as a teenager and performed my wedding…he is a hero to me. He once said that he believed if you are doing what you love, and walking closely with The Father….you could never burn out. I am not sure that is completely true, but it certainly has merit, and it has stuck with me. When I find myself lacking motivation, I always ask myself if I still love and feel called to junior high ministry, and if I am walking closely with the Father.

What would you add to this check list?

Posted by Kurt Johnston

- Today the big story is that former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child out of wedlock about 10 years ago…apparently, his wife knew nothing of it until recently. Very sad. In other news, his newest movie is set to be released soon: “The Sperminator” (I wanted to tweet that earlier today, but my wife warned me not too….this may be a safer place for a bit like that!)

- Last Saturday, we hosted the “Understanding Your Teenager” seminar and received SPECTACULAR reviews by the parents who attended. Wayne Rice, who created the seminar, was our presenter…but I am sure the other folks who present would be equally awesome. It really was the best thing we have done for parents in a long, long time.

- The return of the SJH podcast is on the horizon! I am thinking through a few tweaks to the format to make the podcast as useful to viewers as possible. One of the things I would like to do is discuss user-submitted topics. If you have a topic you would like to see addressed on the podcast, would you please shoot me an email at kurtj@saddleback.com

Posted by Scott Rubin

Last night we had an end-of-school-year celebration with some of our volunteers. These are the people who I always say are at the epicenter of our ministry… their primary role is to help train & shepherd our small group leaders: we call them Coaches.

It was a hilariously fun night, simple as it was. We ate great pizza and bowled terribly for about an hour; then we went into an “upper room” to eat desert, tell stories about each other, and pass out some personalized awards. We ask a lot of our volunteers, because middle school ministry is so important. But for this group, we ask even more. They help with a crisis with a student or family. They dig in deep with a small group leader when their personal life takes a bad turn. They get to church early on the day we head out to our weekend retreat, and they volunteer to stay late at the church on the day we return, waiting with that one kid whose parents forgot the pick-up time and are sitting in a movie theater with their cell phone off. (or maybe they’re just ignoring it?)

So when our celebration night was done & all the awards were passed out, we just stood there together for a few minutes, and no one seemed to want to leave. One seemed especially tender; she’s finishing a ten-year run of middle school ministry volunteering! She started when she was a young single girl, just out of nursing school. Now she has 2 daughters, who are 3 & 4 years old, and really needs to take a step out of our middle school ministry to focus on the season her girls are in.

When I saw that her eyes might be a little misty, I said “Caryn, tell me what you’re thinking?” Tears flowed as she said “I grew up in this ministry, and my life got redirected because I had a volunteer small group leader. A really good small group leader. So I knew that when I got done with school, I wanted to come back & serve, so I could maybe help someone else out the way that my leader helped me see God… and I’ve loved every minute of it.” Tears rolled down her cheeks, it was one of those great moments when you know that jr. high ministry really matters.

Ten years of volunteering. Loving every minute of it.

So I had the thought as I drove away: Wouldn’t it be cool if one of the girls in our middle school ministry right now would grow up to lead a group that has one of Caryn’s daughters in it?

God, thanks for great volunteers. May we celebrate them well at this time of year!

Posted by Kurt Johnston

- I am often asked why I dislike Disneyland so much. It really isn’t Disneyland itself, but rather two things: the cost and the crowds. Give me a free, private party there and I am sure I would find it tolerable.

- in almost 25 years of ministry, I have taken exactly TWO true summer vacations. Because summer is so busy, we have always opted to let the kids ditch a week or two of school in the fall so we can escape as a family. We are making up for it this summer with a week in Chicago to visit Scott Rubin and his clan, a week away with Rachel to celebrate 20th anniversary, and a week in the mountains fishing and dirt bike riding with a crew of other families.

- “Bald is “Beautiful”. Has anybody with hair ever said that?

- Recently acquired an agent and submitted my first-ever book proposal to a big, New York based publisher. And, after quite a bit of flirting, I received my first-ever book proposal rejection from a big, new York based publisher.

- speaking of books; I need to read more fiction. Please feel free to recommend a current or all-time favorite novel.