A week ago we had a “Parents Weekend” in our Jr. High Ministry… where we invited parents to come and experience a regular weekend in Elevate — teaching, worship, games, meet their kid’s small group leader, the whole bit. Then afterwards, when their kids were in small groups, I gathered all the parents together to encourage them in the challenging job they have as parents of young teens — and to suggest some resources & ideas for them. Now that the weekend is in the rear-view mirror, I have a couple of observations:

- In our ministry, there’s still a pretty common stigma that “Parents are Uncool.” The week before, when I reminded students that the next weekend was Parents’ Weekend, there was actually an audible “boooo” from the crowd! Sure, it felt a little bit playful … but there are definitely students out there who are frustrated with parents, or embarrassed by parents, or maybe just didn’t like us messing with their safe place. I want to do everything I can to help kids & parents connect — even though there’s built-in challenge sometimes between them.

- I was a little surprised how encouraged I was every time a parent said something positive about our ministry. We can all feel underappreciated sometimes; at least I know that I can. And even though my ultimate significance doesn’t come from parents’ compliments — it did feel great to hear encouragement. There aren’t a whole lot of middle school students who pull me aside and say “Hey Scott, I just want to say THANKS for all that you do for us, planning, preparing, and trying to think of creative ways to point us kids towards Jesus!” So … it’s good to hear their parents say it sometimes.

- I was a little surprised how bummed I was when a parent had a stern criticism of our ministry. During the countdown before the program started, we showed a video of 2 middle school aged students singing a Justin Bieber’s song “Baby”, while their dad danced GOOFILY in the background. It was hilarious! Afterwards, a parent expressed great disappointment that we’d play a secular song in a church. I guess I was sad that it was his only observation from the 90 minutes he spent with us. One more reminder that you can’t please everybody all the time… nor should that be our primary goal!

It’s one of those days where I wish I could be in 2 places at once!

Today a whole bunch of people I love & respect are gathering in San Diego for the National Youth Workers Convention. If you’ve been there, you know it’s a fantastic event for training & learning & talking to other people who love youth ministry the way that you do. But I’ve got that feeling you get when a bunch of your friends are at a great party, and you’re somewhere else.

I shouldn’t be complaining… I get to be at the NYWC in Nashville in late November, and also at the Simply Youth Ministry Conference right here in Chicago in March. Both those events absolutely energize me, and leave me with great ideas about how to serve students better — and give more of myself to Jesus. So today…I’ll just look forward to them, instead of whining about not being in beautiful San Diego.

But since I don’t get to sit in any sessions today, I decided to read a chapter of Kurt Johnston & Tim Levert’s new book, The 9 Best Practices for Youth Ministry…. and imagined I was in some fancy hotel ballroom listening to them speak wisdom to me, instead of just reading it. I’m a dork, I know. But they did a great job, in my imagination. I’m loving the beginning of their book — I’d highly recommend picking it up if you haven’t already!

(PS – yes, I figured out how to add links to my post, so I wanted to make the most of it!)

They’re putting up a new sign in front of our church. The old one has been there for about 30 years, and was starting to crumble. My friend Bruce works on projects like this for the facilities team here; he was describing to me the cool design of the sign, and what it’ll look like when it’s done. It’s going to be terrific. Then, with satisfaction in his voice, he mentioned that he just got done remodeling some of the little kids ministry rooms in our church. The rooms are way more functional now, and they look fantastic, too. Last summer he worked his tail off updating our old chapel… but the great result was visually evident as soon as you walk into that room.
But that got me thinking about middle school ministry, and how the work that we do is designed to impact the soul of a young teenager. Which is really, really hard to “see”!
It’s so different from finishing a “project”, and being able to stand back, look at our work, and say “it’s all done!” Renovated, updated, complete…. Not so much. People are a “work in progress”, right? I know that I am! And I’m a long way from finished.
These middle schoolers that we’re serving have so much life in front of them yet. And the stuff that we’re trying to build into them could effect them for the next 50 years or more! Everything we do to try to point them towards a life with Jesus can have profound impact, eternal impact. On them, on their friends, on their current family, on their future spouse, on their future family. Grandkids, even! But most days it can be pretty hard to see… so that’s what I’m trying to remind myself of today.
I’m trying to notice what’s invisible!

It’s been a busy start to the school year! (can you relate?)
For me, I think this year’s been over-busy.
And this morning, when I took a minute to look back at yesterday, I realized that in all the action of the day, I hadn’t overtly, intentionally included God. Sure, I prayed to him in a couple of meetings… And I meant it! And I didn’t “run from God” at all yesterday.

But this morning I was thinking about how Not Running From God is way different from Pursuing God.

I don’t want to just “not run from God”. Today, I want to really Pursue!

1 September 2010

posted by Scott Rubin

Some of your churches are like mine, and you encourage some of your volunteers to “take a breath” during the summer months. We push the pause button on our small groups in June & July so that our faithful volunteers can vacation, rest, and be ready to jump back into investing in junior highers once the school year begins. Honestly, our ministry is less effective during those months, and I miss those volunteers like crazy, but for us it’s the best choice in the long run. (and, it probably explains why so many of our volunteers have stuck around for years & years!)

So last week, I was anticipating the “re-arrival” of our school year volunteers. I said to our staff team, “Who’s one person that you’re really really looking forward to serving alongside of this year?” It was fun to hear people’s answers… and look forward to this fun we’re going to have together this year, as we point middle schoolers towards Jesus.

Later that day, I decided to take 4 minutes & jot a note to one of those volunteers… and tell them how much they’re valued around here — and why.
It’s a habit I’m trying to “re-create” — because honestly, I’ve gotten a little sloppy with it! (Which is crazy, because when I get an encouragement note, sometimes I’ll carry it around with me for a few days!) Thoughtful words are really meaningful to me — and in about 4 minutes, I can put some fuel in someone’s tank just by jotting them a snail-mail note. In a mailbox full of credit card offers and cable-tv-advertisements, a card from you would be a welcome site!

posted by Scott Rubin

I went to Caribou Coffee yesterday, drank no coffee,and still left with a bunch of energy!

I met up with a great middle school pastor named Dugan, just to “talk shop” about jr. high ministry. He serves at a church just less than an hour away, and I’ve known him for a few years. We just talked about some of the Big Challenges that we’re trying to tackle as the school year launches. There was no white-board, no big strategy flow chart, nothing fancy. But we ran ideas past each other — and it was super-helpful! We laughed about how middle-schoolers are one of the toughest audiences to teach… and how we love to give it our best shot. We talked about retreats, and small groups, and web sites.

And — as is usually the case in a conversation like this — there was one really helpful take-away for me. Dugan’s realized that jr. high girls have different types of conversations in small groups than jr. high boys do. (Did I mention that he’s a genius?) But more than just “realizing”, he’s trying to do something about it. So he shared with me his idea of structuring the boys’ small groups a little differently than the girls’ groups. Great thoughts, great ideas! Will it work? Definitely…Maybe! But for me, the important part was that I left the coffee shop challenged to think about that dimension of my ministry in a fresh way. And it gave me an idea or 2 of my own that I’m going to experiment with… ideas that I didn’t have yesterday morning.

Just wondering — would it help you to set up a caffeinated conversation with someone in middle school ministry near you? Maybe!

posted by Scott Rubin

(… just not a “literal” embrace.)

A couple of weeks ago I had a really awkward experience. We all know that in order to serve middle schoolers, we need to get comfortable with a certain degree of awkwardness — but this didn’t really help me out in this situation.

I play on a softball team of old guys; mostly dads like me. True enough, most of them can smack a softball much further than I can, which explains our winning record… but I digress. We had just gotten done with a little batting practice before a game, and walked over to the field where our game would be played. My wife Lynette comes to lots of our games — I think she enjoys the comedy more than anything. So as I approached the field, I saw her talking with someone I didn’t recognize. Lynette had her back to me, so as I walked up, I put my hand on her back. Not her shoulder, or her arm. Right in the middle of the lower part of her back. (hey, not that low — come on, I’m not creepy) Anyway, the “awkward” part came when she looked up from her conversation … and I realized that this person was actually not my wife after all!

You’ve never heard a guy apologize, and back-pedal, as fast as I did!
Maybe the worst part of it was that this girl probably couldn’t have been more than about 20 year old. And let’s just say I’m way older than that.

Thankfully, this particular girl laughed it off and forgave me. (And my own wife seemed complimented that I thought a 20 year old looked like her!)

But do you know that feeling of Awkwardness I’m talking about with Jr. Higher?

- Like when you call a Jr. High boy’s house, and he only speaks in one-word answers.

- Like when a Jr. Higher interrupts a conversation you’re having with a potential volunteer by doing something completely “unhelpful” … like smacking you in the head & running away.

- Like when a Jr. High girl gets her first period during your mission trip.

- Like when a Jr. High student introduces you to their parent… and then tells them you said something that you absolutely did not say!

It’s all part of the Awkward World of Middle School Ministry, and the best way through it is to simply embrace it. (Just not the kind of embracing that involves a hand on anyone’s lower back!)

(Scott Rubin here, and this is my first entry on this blog… so if anything looks funky, it’s because I’m not exactly sure how this works!)

I hope I’m not the only one who got a chance to take a few days of vacation time this summer, to spend with people I love and get away from my regular routines. It was laugh-enducing! It was restful! It was like a breath of fresh air!
But now… its… over. 

So in the first 24 hour hours back, I’ve been thinking about “Vacation Re-Entry”… back into my everyday world of Jr. High Ministry.

I’m not a NASA expert, so this analogy probably has holes in it. But when astronaut-type-people first started launching objects into orbit around the earth, one of the first things they learned about was how tricky it was to re-enter the earth’s atmosphere. No matter how great the trip went, if the spaceship didn’t have the proper “heat-shield” in place as it arrived back home, it risked burning up upon re-entry. On arrival back from my vacation, I’ve been thinking about a few things are crucial for me during my Vacation Re-Entry.

I get around Good People. The first morning back from my vacation, I scheduled a breakfast with a good friend of mine … who is also a volunteer in our middle school ministry. I knew I’d wake up to the sound of my alarm and think “Rats, I’ve been able to sleep most days for the last week”. But because I’d scheduled to meet this guy early at a restaurant, I had something great to jump out of bed for, and start my day.

I get into God’s Words. Of course. Same as on vacation. But when I read Psalm 46 on the morning I got back from vacation, all of the emails & projects & stuff I had looming in front of me didn’t seem so big any more!

I get back around Jr. Highers! In just a couple hours, middle schoolers will start streaming into our church, and it’ll immediately remind me why I do this. The 7th grader whose mom is battling serious illness, the 6th grader who’s nervous about being new to our ministry, the 8th grader who’s trying to decide if the pull of popularity can drag her away from her Christian friendships… and I get to care about students like this, remind them that God is crazy about them, help them figure out how to follow Jesus, and invite other adults to do this, too. THAT’S why I love my job!

Anybody else have advice on how to do good “Vacation Re-Entry”? My ears are open….