I’m writing this late on Sunday night… or maybe it’s early Sunday morning.
The Super Bowl is over now, and I have no idea who won.  I wasn’t at a party, and didn’t see any of the new commercials that everyone will be talking about.  Nope, I wasn’t on a spiritual fast-from-media … I was on an airplane crossing the ocean.

I actually love Super Bowl Parties.  Not only for the party itself – but also because I can be “in the know” about what got served up on TV.  It’s a good conversation starter with students, too.

But here’s another advantage of workong with middle schoolers!  They won’t care that I missed the game – even the ones who were glued to the screen the whole time.  In fact, some of them may be glad I didn’t see it!  Because it gives THEM an opportunity to “fill me in” on what I missed.

I find that junior highers love to give me their perspective on anything I don’t know about.  Especially since I’m always teaching them things – they love the chance to “teach me back”.  So don’t worry if you haven’t read the Hunger Games, or heard Selena’s most recent song…Or seen the funniest Super Bowl commercials.  Just ask a student to give you their expert opinion.  It’ll make them feel valued, it’ll remind them that you care — and it’ll save you time by knowing which commercials to look up on YouTube and which ones to skip. 

Oh, and congrats to whichever team won,  Luckily for me, my Cincinnati Bengals never play in the Super Bowl, so I don’t have to worry so much about missing it.

Posted by Scott Rubin

I wonder how many students with Special Needs you’ve run across in your middle school ministry?

Even though we still have a long ways to go, this year we’ve made more strides towards serving students with special needs than any year I’ve been doing this. Lots of it is due to HELP that I’ve received from a FANTASTIC middle school teacher in our area; Laura’s degree is in this realm, and she responded to our invitation to put her knowledge to work in our ministry.

I can’t even express how God has used these students to touch MY heart in the process.

I got a note from Laura this week about a 6th grade girl, and their interaction this past weekend. This student has a small group, but also a 1-on-1 volunteer who helps her. She stays with her small group for as long as she can, but when it gets too much for her, she & her 1:1 go for a walk, & talk about things. This week, Grace’s 1:1 wasn’t here, so Laura stepped in. And Grace wanted to write a song. Here’s what her leader said, about what followed:

“I told her that was fine as long as it was about shepherds (or something we had talked about in the teaching). So, she started writing the first two lines on a piece of paper and then sang it …She had no help from me- this is what came out the first time she sang this”:

Sometimes I feel like no one likes me
But when I see the other kids being beat up
I know I should stand up for them
Because You stand up for me

God, you are my Shepherd
I am your loyal sheep
I am your servant

Sometimes I feel like no one likes me
Because I am different from the other kids
God will always stand up for me
Because He loves us so
And He will take care of us

I had hoped that we’d be able to serve special needs students a little better this year than we have in years past. But honestly, what I’m learning from them seems just as valuable.

Posted by Scott Rubin

Tomorrow is America’s day of Thankfulness, and this morning I was thinking about all that I’m grateful for things that I was also thankful for last Thanksgiving. The love of Jesus, supportive parents, best-friend wife, a mission to serve middle schoolers that fills me with passion, a friendship with a wise-man named Kurt Johnston…

But then I was also thinking of some things that have changed since last year — that I’m also super-grateful for. A couple of new friends I get to work with, an office that actually has a window, and some places that I’m growing this year that I wasn’t last year.

Here’s the 30-Second Challenge:
What are you Thankful for This year that is New since Last Thanksgiving?

I may actually try it out at my Thanksgiving dinner table with my family, & see what people say!

Posted by Scott Rubin

We’re less than 10 days away from our fall small groups retreat … the biggest one we’ve ever done! Super-exciting, for sure. And yet – it’s at a brand new location, and we have some new key leaders who’ve never done an event like this before. I think that “stress” can be an over-used word, but I do know this: I have a lot to get done and a lot to pay attention to over these next 10 days. So I’m reminding myself of several things:

1- Picturing the Faces! When the details of a big initiative threaten to bog me down, I work hard to remember who we’re trying to reach with our efforts. In a meeting last week, one of our team said “I just have to keep picturing students faces”… and I totally agree. Praying for specific students by name helps me focus on why what we’re doing is so important.

2- Remembering Who’s Big. In the book A Disrusptive Faith, A.W.Tozer writes “A basic truth of the Bible is that the source of most evil is …. a low opinion of God”. That was not what I expected to read for the 2nd half of that sentence! Tozer cautions me not to pull God down to my size – but to remember how big He is… and how much more He is interested in students than I am!

3- Tackling the Next Most-Important Item. Sitting around in a mire of worry never helps! Figuring out what the next biggest challenge is – - and getting ‘er done puts more wind in the sails for me.

4- Working Together! One of the biggest threats I know of is isolation & lack of unity. Even if you’re only partnering with one other person, keep communicating well, praying for each other, and united in your efforts.

5- Keep Cracking Open my Bible.   You know why!

I can’t wait for our retreat. Now … I’ve got to go Tackle the Next Big Item on my list.

(Feel Free to add anything that you remind yourself of in times like these… maybe I can benefit!)

Posted by Scott Rubin

Yesterday I had the honor to be a guest on the distinguished “Simply Youth Ministry Show”. Jake Rutenbar & Kurt Johnston do a great job with it, and if you haven’t see it, you should check it out. (http://show.simplyyouthministry.com/) The reason they invited me on is because the topic of the show (which I think will post on Monday) was “Middle School Ministry”.

In addition to seeing one book eat another book, and a quick interruption from a shirtless man, one topic we discussed was the challenges that come when you lead BOTH a middle school ministry AND a high school ministry. When you’re teaching the same topic to MS and HS students, is it wiser to start with the HS outline, and “simplify it”… or to start with the MS outline and “beef it up”? Check out the show. Especially if you’re an Emilio Estavez fan. (or maybe you’ll become one after you watch it.)

5 October 2011

Posted by Scott Rubin

I wonder if people will still leave comments, even if it’s not a contest and I don’t have anything to give away?

Here’s what’s making me think about this…
I sat through the whole service in our High School Ministry this past weekend, which I don’t often get to do. And I was THANKful. (even though there was a time a few years ago when I wouldn’t have used that word to describe how if felt about our HS ministry.)

I saw so many of “my” old students… except now the guys have legit facial hair, and the girls look more like women. I was grateful for the teaching they were hearing, and the leaders who were caring about them, and the mission trips they were being invited on. Even though they were never really “my” students in the first place! And I thanked our HS pastor.

In the past couple weeks, I’ve separately run into 3 different twenty-somethings who were in our middle school ministry when I first started leading. One of them had drifted so far from God during HS, and experienced a bunch of pain. Our reconnection prompted her to move back towards the church. But it reminded me afresh that middle schoolers don’t stay middle schoolers forever!

So – if you work exclusively with jr. highers…. Maybe thank a High School Pastor today.
And if you do both — then thank yourself!!

Posted by Scott Rubin

So I’ve been getting the emails from my son’s 7th grade football league, begging for parents to come help set up the fields on game days. (Can I mention that this “serving opportunity” is at 6am on Saturdays?!)

I decided to go help out – partially to remember what it feels like to be the 1st-time volunteer … who has no idea what he’s getting himself into. It was SUCH a reminder of what people might be feeling when they show up to serve in our ministries. Here are a few observations from this morning:

- New volunteers have no idea what to really expect… and don’t want to look dumb! Even though the email I got had some details for me, I still had this feeling of “uncertainty” as I walked up. I figured that everyone else there knew what they were doing, and I just didn’t want to feel awkward. (I can manage that part without anyone’s help.

- Don’t skip the coffee! Sure, I know they were just trying to “lure me in” with free coffee. But when I showed up not knowing exactly what to do & they said “grab a cup of coffee”, I thought to myself, “OK, I know how to do that.” The other thing that provided was a couple minutes of small talk, which helps people feel like someone actually cares about them (and that they’re more than just free labor!).

- People want to make a legitimate contribution – so give clear directions! There was another “new guy” in the bunch that morning, and we were both trying to figure out how we could do something helpful, even though it was just our first day. Any time we got clear directions, we jumped at the chance to do something helpful. A couple times, we got stuck not knowing what to do next. If that would’ve happened for very long, we would’ve wondered if we were really necessary – and probably would sleep in next week!

- “Veteran” volunteers can be welcoming — or territorial! Most of the people I met this morning were really welcoming. But there was one guy I met who made it clear at one point that what I was doing was “his” job. Oops!  Sorry dude.

- Greetings & Goodbyes matter. I’m stealing that line from my senior pastor. And even though Allen (the guy in charge of football set-up) probably wouldn’t win any cute-&-cuddly contests, when I got there, he seemed really glad I showed up. And when I left, he was sure to thank me for coming, and told me that my contribution really helped. Best part? HE’S a volunteer, too!

I’m going to see some 1st-time volunteers this weekend at my church… and I’ll be thinking about what I experienced at the football field. (and, fortunately or unfortunately, because it was a good experience – I may be back at the field next Saturday at 6am!)

Posted by Scott Rubin

The Fall is a great time for new visitors in jr. high ministry. We all need to be on the lookout for students who’ve never set foot in our doors (or else they might never set foot in them again!).

Every other week before students arrive, we do a “training meeting”; giving volunteers something really practical to think about, to help them serve students best as they point middle schoolers towards Jesus.

This past weekend, we talked about “meeting new students”. (whether the student is the one who’s new … or the leader is!)

A couple simple “do’s & don’ts”…
- DON’T extend your hand for a handshake!
Middle schoolers don’t shake hands with each other. What you’re telling them in that moment is “I’m kinda old, and old people shake hands.” High five or fist bump is still great … but don’t be offended if they leave you hanging. They might just be nervous.

- DON’T guess what grade they’re in!
When you see a very tall middle school girl, and innocently say “Are you in 8th grade?”, you run the risk of having her think “No… I’m a giant 6th grader, self-conscious about being 8 inches taller than all my friends. I wish you wouldn’t have brought it up!” Or when you see a short boy, and say “Hey man, are you a 6th grader?”, he may think “NO! I’m a shrimpy 8th grader, whose hormones haven’t kicked in as quickly as my buddies’ have…. Thanks for reminding me!”

- DO show interest in them!
Just asking good questions is the secret to middle-school-conversations. Don’t expect it to be a two way street, though. You’ll probably ask almost all the questions, but if you ask good ones, jr. highers often like to talk about themselves!

- DON’T ask “Yes or No” Questions!
You’re inviting a 1 word answer. And the awkward pause that follows! ☺

Any other “DO’s” or “DON’T’s out there??   Do Share!

Posted by Scott Rubin

I’ve heard lots & lots of ministries (including ours) say that it’s their goal to Partner with Parents of jr. highers. But how that happens is a little tougher to pin down.

As ministries are kicking off the school year, we’re spending the next month focusing on one primary goal in this area: Meet The Parents! (or … re-meet them, if you already know them)

Here’s how it’s working for us; since we have our small groups on-site right after our weekly church service, we’re telling our small group leaders that “your day isn’t done until you walk with a student to where they meet up with their parents, and introduce yourself”! A face-to-face connection early in the year is super-important. It helps parents realize that there really is someone in our ministry who Knows their kid, Cares about their kid, and will be Praying for their kid this year. If small group leaders don’t meet parents early in the year, it’s a much tougher connect with them later on, especially if it’s brought on by a crisis of some kind.

But NOT ONLY for “new” parent-kid relationships! Our small group rhythm isn’t nearly as regular during the summer. (ok – there’s actually barely any rhythm at all in the summer!) So even for returning leaders who already know the parents of their students, a face-to-face connect early in the year is pivotal. “How was the summer? How’s your son feeling about his start to the school year? Anything you want me to know as we begin a new year of small group?”

The tougher challenge is for parents whose kid comes to our ministry, but the parent doesn’t come to our church. A face-to-face connect might not be possible, but a friendly beginning-of-the-year phone call is a great move!

We’re shooting for 90% of our parents to see the face of a ministry leader in the first month of school. How about you?

Posted by Scott Rubin

So I’ve recently taught my sons how to golf. (which is a bit challenging, because it’s tough to teach something you’re not so good at. But that’s another post) All 3 of my sons love it … but one of them is equally excited about finding other people’s lost golf balls. Especially since we got him one of those extendo-golf-ball-retriever things.

He’s actually gotten really good at it, too. (finding the golf balls… not so much golfing yet.) The last couple times we’ve played 9 holes, he’s found 15 or 20 – and it hasn’t taken him long at all. (Mostly because I’m constantly saying “We can’t make the group behind us wait for us!!)

See, when we go from one green to the next tee, there’s usually a path that everyone takes… and then there’s a whole bunch of overgrown vegetation all around. But my son never takes the path.  And that’s where he hits the jackpot.

Where am I going with this?

Well – at this time of year, we’re always looking for new, great small group leaders. And most times there’s a “usual path” for that.

–Make an announcement in the adult church service.  Put an “ad” in the bulletin. At least for us… that usually doesn’t help that much.

We’ve always had the best luck by leaving the path. Looking somewhere new.

- Like asking all our current volunteers & asking who they know who’d be crazy & cool enough to hang out with junior highers. And then calling them.

- Like setting up a table outside the room where we have our middle school services, with a highlight video rolling, and an extraverted volunteer standing next to it to see which adults are drawn to watch.

- Like targeting our 20-something ministry and shamelessly inviting people to come check out our middle school service just one time.

- Like asking everyone & anyone we know for recommendations for new volunteers … and then giving them our best vision pitch.

- Like other, more creative ideas than this that you can think of, if you spend a minute!

Inviting people into the adventure of middle school ministry can be a challenge … but slowly & surely we’re finding the volunteers we need to point these students towards Jesus! PS – We still need a few more … you have any awesome Jesus-following friends in Chicagoland who want to help us?  :)