Random Randomness

on May 18th, 2011

Posted by Kurt Johnston

- Today the big story is that former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child out of wedlock about 10 years ago…apparently, his wife knew nothing of it until recently.  Very sad.  In other news, his newest movie is set to be released soon:  “The Sperminator”  (I wanted to tweet that earlier today, but my wife warned me not too….this may be a safer place for a bit like that!)

- Last Saturday, we hosted the “Understanding Your Teenager” seminar and received SPECTACULAR reviews by the parents who attended.  Wayne Rice, who created the seminar, was our presenter…but I am sure the other folks who present would be equally awesome.  It really was the best thing we have done for parents in a long, long time.

- The  return of the SJH podcast is on the horizon!  I am thinking through a few tweaks to the format to make the podcast as useful to viewers as possible.  One of the things I would like to do is discuss user-submitted topics.  If you have a topic you would like to see addressed on the podcast, would you please shoot me an email at kurtj@saddleback.com

 

random Randomness

on May 11th, 2011

Posted by Kurt Johnston

- I am often asked why I dislike Disneyland so much. It really isn’t Disneyland itself, but rather two things: the cost and the crowds. Give me a free, private party there and I am sure I would find it tolerable.

- in almost 25 years of ministry, I have taken exactly TWO true summer vacations. Because summer is so busy, we have always opted to let the kids ditch a week or two of school in the fall so we can escape as a family. We are making up for it this summer with a week in Chicago to visit Scott Rubin and his clan, a week away with Rachel to celebrate 20th anniversary, and a week in the mountains fishing and dirt bike riding with a crew of other families.

- “Bald is “Beautiful”. Has anybody with hair ever said that?

- Recently acquired an agent and submitted my first-ever book proposal to a big, New York based publisher. And, after quite a bit of flirting, I received my first-ever book proposal rejection from a big, new York based publisher.

- speaking of books; I need to read more fiction. Please feel free to recommend a current or all-time favorite novel.

Leadership Mistakes

on May 5th, 2011

I have “a friend” who has spent the last year navigating what seems like an ocean of new leadership waters.  He has done some things right, and has also made plenty of leadership mistakes.  Some of these mistakes are “new” mistakes…mistakes made because he is in uncharterd territory and has faced some leadership scenarios he’s never faced before.  But, a shockingly large amount of the mistakes are mistakes that could have (should have) been avoided.  Because they came wrapped in new packages, some old-school leadership principles were missed.

Here are a few of the mistakes “my friend” has made this year. 

- Neglecting The Basics.  “My Friend” has been at his church for a long, long time and has done a fantastic job of beating the drum of things like values, purpose-statement, team culture, etc.  But the speed in which these things slip off people’s radar caught him off guard. He wrongly assumed that because the basics had been covered so well and so often that he could neglect them for a season.  This, coupled with the fact that his team has gone through a fair amount of turnover, has resulted in the need to start beating the drum loudly again. 

- Delegating The Wrong Stuff.   “My Friend” knows the importance of delegation, empowering others to help carry the load, etc.  But in his efforts to get more done and remain sane he has, on more than one occassion, decided to delegate things that should remain on his plate.  Things that he is better at than anybody else, things that he doesn’t like to do but is supposed to do, things that put too much pressure on others because of their urgency, things that are mundane and draining (his thinking was “hey, let somebody else be bored!).  Delegation, when done properly, can be a leader’s best friend.  When done poorly, it causes a ton of grief.

- Becoming A Mile Wide, And An Inch Deep. This may be the one that is causing “My Friend” the most heartache.  On one hand, he is getting more done and seeing more success than at any other time in his ministry career.  But at the same time his busyness has caused some of his relationships to suffer, it has squeezed out things like exercise, surfing (weird, “My Friend” likes to surf, too!), and other things that matter most.

Life and ministry are great for “My Friend”, but when he slows down enough to take an up-close look at things, it is easy to see where things have gotten a little off kilter, and he is determined to tighten the screws where he needs to.

Learn from my friend…..I sure have.

A Survey (sort of)

on May 3rd, 2011

posted by Kurt Johnston

I just had a great conversation with a buddy. We talked about all sorts of youth ministry related stuff, and at one point he dropped this bomb:

“I have decided to no longer make it mandatory that our adult youth workers attend our church.”

The reason that felt like a ” bomb” to me is because I am Admittedly old school in much of my thinking. So, if I knew how to create a formal poll thingy, I would….but since I don’t, I will simply ask you to “vote” in the comments.

The question is: “Do expect your youth leaders to also attend your church?”

- yes
- no
- yes, but we don’t really check
- no, but most do.

Soul Surfing

on April 28th, 2011

Posted by Kurt Johnston

In his previous post, Scott asked the question, what are we doing different this summer. I made a silly comment that one thing I planned to do different was to surf more and work less.

While meant as a joke….it really wasn’t. This summer I plan to surf more than usual for two big reasons:

1) my son, Cole, has mentioned several times that this is the summer he wants to start surfing. I have resisted forcing the sport upon him for obvious reasons, but to hear him expressing an interest is music to my ears. I am taking advantage of it.

2) Surfing is good for my soul. It is fun, it puts me out in the largest, most unpredictable part of God’s creation, and it is a wonderful mix of intense relaxation and exercise.

I feel better when I surf. I feel more “connected” when I surf. Surfing is good for my soul, and a healthy soul is perhaps the most important piece of leadership.

So let me add to Scott’s question: in addition to ministry, what things are you doing this summer that are good for your soul?

Critical Parents; how to defuse the bomb

on April 25th, 2011

Posted by Kurt Johnston

Over the years, I have dealt with lots of critical or upset parents. Sometimes they had reason for their concerns and sometimes they didn’t. I have handled some of the situations well and I have handled others well….not so well.

I’ve learned that there are a few “defusing” techniques that almost always serve to help the scenario from blowing up in my face. These are in no particular order.

- “Feel, Felt, Found”: When I remember to utilize this tool, things
seem to go more smoothly. It simply means saying something like this: “Mr. Jones, I understand why you feel the way you do. In fact, others have felt the same way and here is what we have found……” This works when you are admitting fault as well as when you aren’t.

- Strike while the irons hot! Avoid the temptation to avoid an upset or critical parents. Whatever they are concerned about will only get worse if
they feel they are being ignored.

- Thank them: I know this one sounds crazy because none of us are thankful for critical parents. But I have learned to be. When I think about the thousands of parents who have allowed me access to their child’s life over the years, I am shocked at how few of them are willing to share their concerns with me. I have also learned that while their method of delivery may not always be the best (angry emails, third-person messengers, etc.), their concerns are often valid and have helped
me grow as a leader and provide better, safer ministry. I ALWAYS thank parents who
are upset or critical because it would have been easier for them to remain silent.

- Look for ways to turn critics into cheerleaders. More often than not, after a conversation with an upset parent they are back on board and more supportive of the ministry than ever before. They have felt listened to, and they have had their issue resolved. Don’t waste this opportunity. I will often ask these parents if they would now be willing to be a cheerleader for our ministry. I will say something like,
“Mrs. Adams, I’m sure you aren’t the only parent who has felt this way, and I would love for you to encourage others to come talk to me….or better yet, you can talk to them yourself now that you understand the situation more clearly. Mrs. Adams, when parents like you become vocal supporters of our ministry, it really makes a big difference!”

Parents….some of them are ticking time bombs; but most of them can be defused.

Just Finished Reading: Onward

on April 21st, 2011

Posted by Kurt Johnston

Because I spend so much time working at Starbucks (there right now, in fact), I figured it would be sort of silly for me not to read Onward, the new book by their CEO, Howard Shultz. It was fantastic.

The book chronicles Starbucks rise, fall (not really a “fall” but certainly a stumble) and rise through the Lens of Shultz.

Ministry and leadership lessons drip from almost every page. Here are just a few:

- At one point, Shultz reminds the organization that they are NOT a coffee company that serves people, instead they are a people company that serves coffee.

- The root of Starbucks struggles several years ago was their inability to stay true to their founding principles and values.

- Shultz’s intuitive style of leadership is obviously a huge reason for Starbucks success, but he is quick to admit that it has caused problems along the way.

While I think the book was about 25% too long, and people who aren’t super business savvy will loose interest at numerous points (at least that was my experience….a little too much talk about wall street, reports to shareholders, etc.), If you serve in a youth ministry setting, I couldn’t recommend this book more highly.

If you are THE leader of your ministry: Learn a ton from Shultz’s journey.

If you are a team member, volunteer, etc.: There are numerous examples of people
“leading from the middle” to influence the organization and effect change.

There’s A First Time For Everything

on April 16th, 2011

Posted by Kurt Johnston

As I type this, I am sitting in Chicago Ohare airport about to miss a speaking engagement for the first time in my life. The day started by hitting the road at 4:00 am to catch a flight that was delayed twice resulting in a missed connection. Then the Chicago skies opened up and started dumping rain resulting in my flights being cancelled. Even though it is “an act of God” and there’s nothing I can do about it, I feel TERRIBLE.

But this negative “first time” experience has me thinking about all the incredible “first times” I have experienced over the years in JH ministry.

- The first time I took a group of students to the beach. By “group”, I mean two 8th grade guys, and on the way to the beach, my car suffered two flat tires. Years later, when I see Joe and Chad, we still share the fond memory.

- The first time I went to a weeklong summer camp as the person ultimately in charge. I felt like I was in SO over my head. And I was. But God showed up, like He has a way of doing.

- The first time I taught about sex and dating. I wasn’t even married, had never had sex, and felt like I needed the lesson more than they did!

The list of “first time” ministry memories could go on and on. I’m sad today that I am experiencing my first speaking foul up, but so very thankful for all the other “firsts” God has allowed me to enjoy!

This Has Nothing To Do With Junior High Ministry, But…

on April 13th, 2011

Posted by Kurt Johnston

The title of this post is also the title of a new category. Whenever Scott, myself or another author wants to post something that has nothing (or very little) to do with junior high ministry, we will title it, “This has nothing to do with junior high ministry, but…”. This way you can quickly decide if you want to read any further!

This has nothing to do with junior high ministry, but today I heard a very interesting statement: “Academics talking about real ministry is like fish talking about
bicycles”
.

Strong. Loaded. Biased. Yes.
Somewhat true. Profound. Painfully accurate. Maybe.

Would love to hear your thoughts.

No Good Ruts

on April 12th, 2011

Posted by Kurt Johnston

This weekend, our junior high ministry did something we try to about once a month: We forced ourselves out of our typical weekend rut. I think the weekend church experience we provide for junior highers is a great one, but because it works and because we have it dialed in, it would be very easy to get into a “good rut”.

So church this weekend was way different. It was on one hand much more relational (we sat around tables, had lots of discussion questions, etc.) and on the other hand much more serious in tone (we worked through the last few days of Jesus’ life). The weekend was FANTASTIC, not because what we did was so much better than what we normally do, but because it was different….we didn’t do what we normally do.

Ruts are bad….even good ruts…so there really are no good ruts. When really good stuff becomes predictable, formulaic, etc. it begins to lose effectiveness, and thus a bunch of really good stuff can slowly become a rut.

Here are a few ways to become a RUT BUSTER:

- Always leave them wanting more, quit while you’re ahead, etc. It is super tempting to play the groups favorite game over and over and over again. But if you do, their favorite game will quickly become the one they are sick of. It’s easy to lock onto a certain type of humor that your students respond to….but don’t overdo it. When they get overly used to it, it is no longer as useful a tool.

- Invite new voices into your planning process: One of the reasons ministries find themselves in a rut is because they constantly have the same people planning the lessons, the activities, the leader training, etc. People are creatures of habit, so when we find something that works, we are slow to recognize the need for change. Inviting new, fresh voices into the process will make it much
tougher to fall into ruts.

- Network with other youth leaders, and visit their ministries. I recently met with a very sharp young leader who was contemplating making some changes in his junior high ministry. He admitted that his model was the ONLY model he had ever seen…that he was simply doing ministry the way it was done before his arrival on the scene. I applauded him for wanting to learn how we do things at Saddleback, but was quick to point out that if our ministry was the only one he looked at, he was missing out on dozens and dozens of other effective ministry
models.

Start with a blank slate. Next time you get ready to write a lesson, plan an activity, etc. start with a blank slate. Most of us have been taught the value of keeping good records and history files so that we can document our learnings. The common wisdom is this is that the next time around, we can grab our file and see what worked last time, what didn’t, etc. I think this is helpful, but it is also a sure-fire way to get into ruts. Instead, take a shot at starting from a blank slate….pretending their is no history at all. dream big, brainstorm, think outside the box….think outside the history file!