KurtMore PostsLet’s Make a “Trust List”

Posted by Kurt Johnston

If trust is a key component to healthy relationships, then it begs the question, “How do we build trust between our jh ministries and the parents of our students?” The list could get long…and obviously we won’t all be good at all of the stuff on the list, but I tend to think the area of trust is an area that fits into the classic “chips in your pocket” analogy.

Every time you do something that builds trust with parents, you get some chips in your pocket. And, every time you do something that breaks trust, you lose chips. And…some trust builders and breakers add or delete bigger amounts of chips.

For instance, coming home from camp at the time you announced on the registration form puts a couple of chips in your pocket. But, failing to do a proper background check on a convicted felon who ends up robbing your 7th grade girls small group at gun-point takes FAR MORE chips out of your pocket!

So, in my way of thinking, you always want to make sure your “pocket of trust” is full of chips. Okay….but how. Well, let’s start a list. I’ll get us going:

- Longevity: The longer you are at a church, the more trust is built.
- Clear communication: clear, consistent communication about events, etc.
- Willingness to listen to complaints: Most parents just want to be heard.
- Admitting when you are wrong: Admission of mistakes builds trust.

Okay….there are a few to get us started, please add some ways you have been able to build trust between your ministry and parents.

Comments 4 View Comments August 26, 2011

KurtMore PostsIs Trust The Key?

Posted by Kurt Johnston

I absolutely loved Scott’s last post! His post, and the comments relating to it really got me thinking. Specifically, about the nature/source of so many of our conflicts, misunderstandings and tensions with parents and even volunteers in our ministries.

I wonder if it boils down to two things…one we can change and one we can’t.

First, the one we can’t: the world is broken, people are broken and as a result, hurt people hurt people. Sin, and it’s ugly ramifications, isn’t going away.

Second, the one we can (or at least have a shot at): I wonder if the vast majority of tension in relationships comes from a LACK OF TRUST. Think about it:
- when I trust you, I assume the best in you.
- when I trust you, I know you wouldn’t purposely wrong me.
- when I trust you, I give you the benefit of the doubt.
- when I trust you I know you think things through.
- when I trust you, I know you want what’s best for my children.
- when I trust you, I can confront you in a healthy manner if needed.

I have had way more than my fair share of wacky, sad, hurtful and tension-
filled conversations with parents over the years. And the root of the reason the conversations went so haywire was (I am beginning to think) always either 1) the brokeness of people or 2)the lack of trust between people.

I know it’s dangerous to boil things as complex as human nature and relationships down to such simple solutions…but this seems to make sense to me.

Add to my thinking, adjust my thinking, share your thoughts.

Go ahead…I trust You!

Comments 5 View Comments August 23, 2011

KurtMore PostsSimply Youth Ministry Shows 1-3

Posted by Kurt Johnston

If you haven't had a chance to catch the new Simply Youth Ministry Show, here are the first three episodes.
Show 1: The Maiden Voyage

Show 2: Communication with guests Adam Mclane, Terrace Crawford and Tim Schmoyer

Episode 3: The Adolescent Brain with Guest, Mark Oestreicher

Comments 1 View Comments August 16, 2011

KurtMore PostsWatch And Learn

Posted By Kurt Johnston

By now you have likely heard some bits and pieces around the withdrawal of Starbucks CEO, Howard Shultz, from Willow Creek’s Leadership Summit. As an incredibly loyal Starbucks patron, I was saddened by Shultz’s decision to back out of his contract to speak at the summit; partly because I think he would have had some awesome leadership wisdom to share with the crowd, but mostly because it was sad to see him cave in to the demands of a fairly small number of folks who had signed a petition stating they would boycott Starbucks if he spoke at Willow because it is “anti gay”.

If I was Bill Hybels, I’m not sure how I would have responded….but I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t have been like this. Below is a 7-minute lesson on leadership, charity, and Christ-like action. Brilliant.

Comments 5 View Comments August 12, 2011

KurtMore PostsRandom Rants

Posted By Kurt Johnston

I am admittedly grumpy this morning. I will cast some of the blame on a summer that has been incredibly busy and disjointed….both personally and professionally. None of the following rants come after spending time in prayer, and very few are feelings or thoughts that I want to be held accountable for at a future date. But because I am grumpy today, I have somehow managed to waste much of my morning thinking about things that currently increase my “Grump Index”. such as:

- church and ministry influencers who say things like, “there is more than one way” or “this will need to be contextualized”, yet are actually proponents of doing it ONE way in virtually EVERY context.

- Media outlets (whether liberal or conservative) who try to mask their bias under the banner of journalism….or worse yet, don’t even try and just assume we are too stupid to see through it.

- The refusal by most of the older generation to begin to hand over even a litle power and influence to the younger generation. Dave Gibbons once said that the key to long-term church health and growth is “when the older generation sets aside their preferences for the sake of the next.” I asked him how often this happens, and he said very, very rarely.

- Complainers. I know, it is a bit ironic for this to be on my list. But seriously…folks who are marked by cynicism, sarcasm and complaining drain the life out of me.

- Figuring out how to, and how much we even should, contribute to our kid’s college education. Until very, very recently, like most youth Pastors, I suppose, saving for college wasn’t a realistic option. So now with our daughter a year away, we are in full blown “what the heck do we do….how do we do it….and to what extent?” mode. The whole conversation leaves me feeling grumpy.

- Hidden agendas. Just tell me what you are thinking. If you need something, ask. If I upset you, let me know. If you have a different idea, share it.

- The pressure put on so many teenagers….mostly by their well-meaning parents…to perform.

- Grumpy old men in coffee shops who spend their time lamenting all that is wrong in the world. Oh, wait…..never mind.

Comments Add Comment August 11, 2011

KurtMore PostsInfluencers…..Who Are Also Trench Diggers?

Posted By Kurt Johnston

By now, most of you who are regular blog readers have seen this years list of the top 20 youth ministry blogs as determined by Youth Specialties and their scientific(ish) formula.

Those blogs are written by some brilliant folks….many of whom are good friends of mine. But I noticed something while looking over the list: Less than a handful of them are written by folks who currently make their
living as a youth worker in a local church setting.

I think the world of youth ministry “voices of influence” needs to include some more men and women from the local church. obviously those on the blogging list love the local church, serve the local church, and have in most cases done some hard time within it…so they are all worthy of their place of influence. But, I want to also learn from people neck-deep in the same stuff I am neck-deep in; you know, the daily grind of local church youth ministry.

So, please share a name or two of somebody who is serving in the local church as it’s youth pastor who has a blog you read, a twitter account you follow, or otherwise influences and helps shape your youth ministry thinking.

If they are on the list of Top 20 bloggers, you don’t need to include them here. This isn’t a competition….I won’t list results in order…I simply want to add a few names into the bucket of people I learn from, and you might, too.

I will add the first name to the list: Jeremy McCarter, the youth pastor at Lifechurch.tv. He’s sharp, humble, and doing good stuff.

Comments 6 View Comments August 7, 2011

KurtMore PostsDo You Feel That? It’s Called Tension…And It Is Good.

Posted by Kurt Johnston

Tension has gotten a bad rap. Because it can be problematic and uncomfortable when experienced in some aspects of life, we often try to avoid it in EVERY aspect of life.

But I want to suggest that much of the tension we fel in ministry is actually a good thing; a rudder that helps us safely navigate the ministry ships we captain. A few examples:

- the tension we feel between a fun/goofy junior high ministry and a more serious/challenging junior high ministry likely keeps us doing a little bit of both.

- the tension we feel between large, attractional programs and small, intimate, organic, relational programs should help us see the value in each.

- The tension we feel between wanting young, cool, energetic volunteers and older, more mature volunteers should help us see the beauty and validity of leaders in every stage of life.

Tension in ministry is good because it reminds us there is another option, a different way, a varying viewpoint.

Please share a ministry tension, that at first glance, may seem problematic but is actually healthy. Let’s learn from each other.

Comments 6 View Comments August 5, 2011

KurtMore PostsRandom Randomness

Posted By Kurt Johnston

Just got back from a PEACE (Saddleback’s term for missions)trip to Costa Rica with a load of JH and HS students. Way too many powerful and hilarious highlights to share, but here is one that is both powerful AND hilarious: On Sunday, I had the honor of preaching in our host church to a crowd of about 1,000 wonderful folks. They were in the middle of a series on prayer, and asked me to teach on the Lord’s Prayer. It was one of the more fulfilling preaching moments of my life…and was made much
better for the audience by my interpreter, Juan (a super sharp young guy who looks just enough like Johnny Depp for me to make a few funny references during the sermon). Since I have never preached from the Lords Prayer, I decided to borrow (read steal) some content from a SEVEN week series Pastor Rick taught at Saddleback a few years ago. I decided to try to combine all seven sermons into one, which prompted my tweet along the
lines of, “combining seven of Rick Warren’s sermons into one for sermon in Costa Rica…this could be interesting”. Which prompted a hilarious text from Matt McGill in response:
“Dude, each of Ricks sermons are like seven-in-one, so you really just
combined forty nine!” Genius.

Have you checked out the premiere of The Simply Youth Ministry Show? Future guests include Dan Kimball, Kara Powell, Greg Stier, Marko, Scott Rubin, Jeremy McCarter and a whole bunch more of our friends.

Come on Denver….send Kyle Orton to Miami already! Give the ball….and the future….to Tebow.

Haven’t surfed one time this summer! The skies are blue and the water warm…why would I want to surf?

Comments Add Comment August 4, 2011

KurtMore PostsFresh Thoughts….REALLY Fresh Thoughts On Short-Term Missions

Posted By Kurt Johnston

Big disclaimer: I am currently in a Costa Rican coffee shop on a short-term missions trip with 50 junior high and high school students. It is possible my perspective is slightly influenced by my current euphoria.

Lots has been said about the various pitfalls to short term missions. chief among the concerns are the damages that can be done when we create a culture of rich Americans swooping in to throw money and man-power at a given community for a short period of time, then ride off into the sunset without addressing the TRUE needs of the community. Another concern is that we may be teaching our students that caring for the less fortunate is an event that happens once or twice a year….not to be bothered with again until the next youth group trip.

I’m not an expert in cross-cultural ministry, but those two critiques make a ton of sense to me. Tough to argue….and I have seen those negative realities first-hand. There has to be a better way, and I am so thankful for the men, women and various organizations that are dedicated to wrestling this to the ground.

In the meantime, local church youth pastors will likely continue providing these types of experiences for their students. Here are two baby steps we are taking to try to address both of the concerns I mentioned above:

1) We ALWAYS partner with local churches, and strive to make them the heroes…not us. This week in Costa Rica, everything we are doing is under the name and banner of a local church. We are putting wind in their sails, training their staff, and helping them in ministries that already exist…all so the local church is better equipped to continue ministering upon our departure. The Rich Americans won’t ride off into the sunset
because, to a large degree, the community barely knows we are here.

2) We are striving, like many youth groups, to make the idea of “loving your neighbor as yourself” an ongoing value and practice in our ministry, not merely an occasional event. It isn’t easy, but we are pursuing it.

In mid-August, when the last of our thee teams returns from Costa Rica, my hopes are that the local church will be better equipped and more confident to reach this community with the love of Jesus, and that our students will be better equipped and more confident to reach OUR community with the love of Jesus…and that both of these things would happen for the Long-term.

Comments 2 View Comments July 30, 2011

KurtMore PostsThree Simple Ways To Win The Support Of Your Senior Pastor

Posted by Kurt Johnston

Last night my Pastor, Rick Warren, spoke at our High School summer mid-week service. Because Josh Griffin is out of town, he asked me to be there to introduce Rick. In short: It was one of the highlights of my youth ministry career! Seeing the way our students engaged with their Pastor, and seeing how it energized Rick was something really wonderful to behold.

I realize that many of you serve Sr. Pastors who truly have no interest in what is happening in your youth ministry, and for that I am sorry. But I also believe that in some cases, their interest can be peaked. It is possible to slowly win the support of most Sr. Pastors. Here are a few steps you can take to help bridge the gap between you and your pastor….and your pastor and your junior highers:

1) Stick around a while. Longevity is probably the best way to build a healthy relationship between you and your senior pastor. Doug Fields served at Saddleback for 18 years, I have been here for 15, and Josh has been here for 7. Because Rick knows our commitment and loyalty to Saddleback, he is much more eager to build a relationship with our ministries.

2) Keep them in the loop. I have talked to tons of youth workers who say a version of this: “My Pastor never asks about our youth ministry…it’s like he doesn’t even care.” Perhaps. But perhaps it is our job to not wait until he/she asks! Look for ways to be proactive in communicating with your Pastor. Send an email after significant events, let him know when a student gets saved, build trust by being the first to tell her when something went wrong so she isn’t caught of guard. Take the initiative….it goes a long way.

3) Invite!Pastor Rick didn’t ask Josh if he could speak….Josh asked him! Rick showed up at our junior high camp for a day once simply because we invited him. Pastors are busy, and most aren’t looking for additional stuff to do, so inviting themselves to be part of your ministry likely isn’t on their radar. But…when you invite them, you may besurprised at their response. Even if they say no, they will be happy to have been asked.

Want to read more on this subject? Here is a great book dedicated to the Pastor/Youth Pastor relationship!

Comments 1 View Comments July 22, 2011