As to #4, and after the author’s statement about Internet access (middle of page 3), I’m wondering if the proliferation of pornography, especially the prominence of ‘girl on girl’ videos ‘for guys’, might be the more powerful factor. That is: viewing pornography, talking about masturbation, etc. are MUCH more common (nay, Expected!) than before the widespread access of the Internet. Such emotionally/sexually charged topics and experiences are being ‘discussed’ by peers in late elementary school (in the two states I’ve lived in). Peers not being the best resource on the topic!

This in concert with craziness of emtions in Jr/Sr High and the lack of help from adults (who might not be any better off!)… super-powerful sexuality plus very unsure emotional self-understanding: perfect storm for deception.

As I look back at myself at that age, I think about how incapable I was of understanding such a dilemma (I had emotions and no emotional skills) and often ignored or belittled advice from adults on the topic.

So I/we are working through how to create a culture, a set of relationships, etc. that help students grow ‘emotionally’ and also help students not be swayed by such powerful and ‘everywhere’ sexual tides.

Personally, Kurt, I think this is going to be one of the top-few destructive aspects of society (youth society in particular) over the next few decades… if you felt compelled to raise this topic to a higher level and use your ‘audience’ of youth workers and pastors to start some thoughtful discussion, I’d jump in with both feet.

David.

1. probably hinders – but not from his point of view
2. hinder – as the argument is one sided – though needs to be raised to make us think through the issues (we tend to place our heads in the sand when it comes to anything difficult)
3. we need more accurate understanding on what kids are actually thinking about at this age in relation to sexuality, but possibly there is insufficient appropriate data (and getting it is probably inappropriate!) – without data we can’t know
4. both – out of control
5. I wish I knew, and I guess, but the consequences of doing so so early if it is experimentation/confusion could be enormous

One of the valuable insights of this article is the difference in the way parents cope from even 5 years ago.

Thanks for the post!
4

Some of the boys interviewed said that they knew they weren’t interested in girls, and thusly concluded that they were gay. I imagine that this is the case at times, but I also wonder if it’s the early sexualization of our teens that lends the boys to this conclusion. Some guys are simply late bloomers … nerds … whatever you want to call them. My dad is someone who had no interest in girls (or boys) until his late 20s, and it took almost another decade for him to start dating. He was happy with his pencils and protractors and math books. If he was a teen today, would he feel he had to self-identify as gay because the attraction to females was missing? I dunno.

Taking a stab at #6 — Christopher Yuan wrote about “holy sexuality” in his blog once upon a time(http://christopheryuan.blogspot.com/2008/07/does-ex-gay-mean-straight.html). It is no better to lust over someone of the opposite gender than it is to lust for someone of the same gender — God says that purity for a single person is abstinence. I think that this message of holy sexuality can be used to respond to and encourage teenagers on both sides of the line, and we can figure out how to respond to the harder questions of human sexuality as we grow in relationship with our students and seek the Lord for wisdom.

A comment that has stuck with me, from a Steve Brown/John Freeman discussion about damaged sexuality (of many kinds) being brought into the body of Christ: “If we show love, will people think we’re affirming what we shouldn’t affirm? Are we compromising by showing mercy?”

I’ve gotten long-winded here. Time to wrap it up … heading over to 3 tonight, and hoping that none of the teens “come out” to me tonight because I’m not ready yet! (Thank God for the Holy Spirit!)

1) I don’t feel as if he is pushing any particular agenda, so neither.
2) If he were straight and advocated for those who were gay, I think it would add credibility.
3) I felt the argument was compelling enough. While having someone “come out” carries much more of a social burden than simply feeling sexually attracted to someone, I think it’s wrong for us to think that boys and girls could not be sexually attracted to the same sex at that age. Not to mention, I think boys and girls deal with homosexual experimentation differently. Culturally, lesbianism is more accepted than gay men/boys. It’s “unmanly.” But for some reason, guys don’t mind seeing two girls make out. Do girls like to see two guys make out? I’m not sure.
4) I think it’s more of the first one. More openness.
5) We crack too many “gay” jokes, so no, I do not feel that such a coming out would be accepted in my youth group. Maybe I should work to change that.
6) Keep loving them like Jesus. In the end, it’s not their sexual orientation that will get them into Heaven.