Utilizing parents in your middle school ministry can be a puzzle. So many pieces need to fit in place: Where do they serve? Do we let them minister alongside their kids? What if their child doesn’t want them there? What if their child clings to them?
IMHO, developing a healthy team of parents to serve on your ministry team requires next-level leadership; leadership that takes a lot of work…leadership that lots of youth pastors are unwilling, or unable, to rise to. As a result, it seems like way too many junior high ministries are missing out on a gold mine of potential.
Here are a few thoughts on how to make the most of the parent puzzle:
1) Talk to the student first. How does he/she feel about mom or dad joining your volunteer team? How (or if) you plug the parent into your ministry should usually reflect what you hear from their child.
2) View every parent as a ‘case-by-case’ situation. I would avoid rules such as “no parent can be the leader of his son’s small group” or “Parents are never allowed to sit next to their own kid” etc. Every parent/child relationship is different and no ‘rule’ applies well to them all.
3) Make sure parents want to minister to all the students in your group, not just their kid. For most, a primary motive will be to spend time with their child, but if they can’t give the other students in your ministry equal time then joining your team probably isn’t a good idea.
4) If you aren’t the parent of a junior higher, you don’t know squat! You may not like hearing that, but that’s what the parents of your kids are thinking about you. Instead of working hard to prove them wrong, I suggest you admit it and do the hard work of enlisting lots of parents to join your team. I think you’ll be glad you did.
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Kurt Johnston leads the student ministries team at Saddleback Church in Southern California. His ministry of choice, however, is junior high, where he spends approximately 83.4% of his time. Kurt is also the founder of www.simplyjuniorhigh.com, and he writes, speaks and looks for opportunities to encourage other youth workers. He likes to surf, ride dirtbikes and hang out in coffee shops. He is married to Rachel, and they have two teenage children, Kayla and Cole
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Scott Rubin is the Director of Elevate, the junior high ministry of Willow Creek Community Church near Chicago. He's mostly a middle school pastor, but he also writes some, speaks some, and blogs some. He's the co-author of the book Middle School Ministry, and a few other titles too. He likes sports, summer, his wife Lynette, his 3 sons, and often wishes that Lake Michigan was actually an ocean.
